Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Post 168. I Defecate Therefore I Am.


DE CACATORIA TRACTANDA.
I would like to explain
to those readers, especially the gentle ladies I love so much, who shall accuse me of outrageousness, rudeness and uncouthness, why I have chosen such a natural activity that we share with all living beings in the Cosmos, i.e., the one of evacuation, of excretion......................
' Thinking ', chosen by Descartes who wrote
" Cogito ergo sum " as the paradigm of existence, is not in fact a universal activity common to all physical/material beings and biological LIFE in general.
I try to be as exacting as I know how, as many among us do not believe in non-material existence, but cannot deny excreta/dung/manure. One can smell it, see it, touch it, fertilize Life with it, obtain drugs from it, burn it as fuel, make tough and sticky paint with it, etc......................................................
In fact Mothers gloat upon, salivate and dribble about their babies' crap as the evidence of their REALITY and BEING.
In fact all the range of the important, nay even essential " Terra colours " of the Artist -: Burnt Umber, Burnt Sienna, Yellow Ochre, Gold Ochre, Raw Sienna etc., including Gold that is a sort of yellow, belong to the landscape-scenario of excreta.
In fact one could even generalise and state with the same perfect self-assurance and certainty with which Professor Garneaud does, croaking frog-like about Global Warming, that in virtue of the Theorem of the Conservation of Energy and Matter, implying the mutual transformability of the two, i.e. matter and excreta, that at least two thirds of the earth surface including the atmosphere, must be excreta of one sort or another. We are in fact embedded in excreta, we are excreta!
Also remember that excreta do not have to be necessarily solid/liquid, as the gaseous ones are worrying us to-day, more so than the solid ones. Ask our Politicians and Professor Garneaud himself.

I like to fantasise sometime of the mighty loads of crap excreted by the largest dinosaurs, brontosaurus etc.......................!
And the stuff is still there somewhere in some form or transformation of one sort or another, owing to the afore-mentioned Theory of the Conservation of all Energies and Matters, which gives me great comfort!

How can one deny then the existence of a Superpowerful Being Who planned the lot of the mighty, almost self-sustayning excretory system, a godly work, a Principality in its own right?

We are in fact not even sure from where thinking comes from and multitudes among human beings are incapable of real thought.
Karl Rahner S.J. believes our Circle of Knowledge is a part of God's own and Saint Thomas Aquinas gently, suavely insists that all knowledge is through sensual experience, the English nominalists disagreeing of course, as usual.

No, no, no, you moron, not sexual.............sensual.

We are talking here of a priori not of a posteriori experiences which may be corrupted and corrupting ones.
Sola in prioris existet Innocentia!
( I am not sure of my Latin, someone please correct me ).
In a way, in the field of the sensual, the excretorial is even superior to the sexual/fornicatory in providing existential certainty as the latter can already somehow, sometime become mixed analogically speaking of course, with the loftiness of the ideal of divine unity, which could be THOUGHT of ( remember my uncertainty about the realm of THOUGHT ) as unreal by multitudes, provided these were able to THINK at all, a vicious circle indeed. For many starving people in the world the sexual may become the only alternative to feeding with a reduced capability for.................... and THINKING, of course.
Remember also that empty stomachs encourage dreaming rather than THINKING. I am not being at all sarcastic or ironic or cruel here, merely THINKING.
Also remember that the sexual experience normally requires a partner and this can be a most elusive, delusiory, uncertain, stressing activity bordering on the allucinatory, the unbelievable.
That is why I chose to not say-: " I fuck therefore I am ".
I have actually not been fucking for probably the last ten years, only sometime fantasising about it.
No one dies for a lack of fucking, but does so for a lack of excretion, for various reasons or causes, like no inputs, i.e. starving. While eating and its complementary.........excreting, may be a human right, fucking is not!

Having said all these negatives about the sexual, let me add the only positive about it, that is about its reality-convincing-capacity whenever it results in the making of a baby, which can be seen also as a perpetuation, an extension to, a multiplication of crapping, a sub-event of the excretory function. Again, Mothers, please forgive my uncoutheness, apparent lack of reverence for functions and matters considered sacred by the ancient Egyptians, who had special;ised diviners analysing excreta, etc.........................
But philosophically speaking, a baby is some sort of living excreta, in the sense of its being out-putted, from the mother, albeit from a different orifice of her body than the excretory one, which many are sexually prone to confuse and delight in abusing, as if a sexual one too, in this degenerate
and fallen Era of Manure of ours.

There is in fact no THINKING without knowledge, without the sensual, without the first feelings of hunger, without feeding from a plumpy, rotund, soft, velvet-like-feeling breast, and a satisfaction resulting from a good crap and of noticing someone kindly changing your nappies, coooing gentle nonsense to you in your praises, which generates the lofty feeling of gratefulness, the beginning of the religious feeling, etc. etc. etc.
This is why the Catalans of the Costa Brava humbly and wisely celebrate the cacatorial functions so highly, even making representations of excreta, I would imagine in plastic to-day, to keep as reminders of our adamitical (earthly) body-wise origins. Read the eminent Australian Historian Hughes in his work " Barcelona ".

Evacuation also necessarily implies some material INPUT and this implies in turn a self-sustaining and perpetuating cycle, also most transparently showing the Entropy that rules all cosmic activities large and small.
Defecation can surely provide more certainty than thinking can about being, existing, as, in the sphere of the material and the physical it is certainly a greater absolute and universal than thinking is in the sphere of abstraction and .............perhaps the fictional.

In fact, it might even convince many doubters even God exists.

I would like therefore to ask you to THINK about what I said, next time you sit and evacuate.
In a sense one can even say that the humble, universal of defecation may even promote, facilitate THOUGHT.
Who shall ever know how many Insights may have been gathered by our great THINKERS while defecating? It is said the great Archimedes of Syracuse discovered Specific Weight and all its ancillary applications while bathing. Perhaps it happened while he was.........................
" Per ardua ad Astra! "
I used to know a brilliant Senior Technical Officer in the Commonwealth of Australia's Department of Civil Aviation when I worked there as a Drafting Officer 2, who used to keep a small Library in his toilet were he did most of his studying. But he could not understand Mechanics and Structures, although being first rate in Electronics and a cunning THINKER. Perhaps his cacatorial function was marginal.

And praise the Creator for this function, always.
ALLELUJAH!




2 Comments:

At October 22, 2009 at 9:06 PM , Blogger Amy said...

Is this where I say.... HOLY SHIT?

 
At October 22, 2009 at 9:12 PM , Blogger Templar said...

Amy dear darling, you have not yet red the improved version.
This is what all my sensuality, not sexuality, that is not existent anylonger reduces to. No, it is not as bad as that, only that Descartes' dictum, FAMOUS by the way the world over, has never convinced me at all.

 

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