Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Post 56. An Ode to Faded, Tight-over-the-crotch, Bleu Jeans.

( Dedicated to my favourite bleu jeans-wearer, G.Y. , a lady-blogger, who has the most beguiling arctic-bleu, roundest, bleuest eyes with the bimba-looks of an eternally innocent, after-orgasmic contentment. If you know what I mean.)
An Ode to Faded and Tight-over-the-crotch, Bleu Jeans.
The praises I wish to sing of
the icon that now sways
both West and East
about our male wits.
Many an invention has it spurred
with its utilitarian twist
that makes both genders
wear it as if
Unisex were Holy Writ.
Even the Vatican
has wisely endorsed it,
since it can, uncannily,
and paradoxically alike,
more babies stimulate
the genders to spin,
so as, as even Cardinal Pell
of Sydney, in Australia Fair,
the grey Eminence,
concernedly assures us all,
that in the West,
more babies are needed
in order the demographic growth
to balance-out with the East
where more vigorously than in the West
fornication is indulged in.
That is in fact the secret reason why
Australia has imported so many
of the people from the East,
including those who Salam Cafe’ favour
and all its crappities, crudities and nonsensities.
More babies are needed in Australia Fair, you nitwits!
So get down to it, vigorously, the task to fulfil.
"Do not worry children of my soul,
don’t worry about water and energy,"
says the Cardinal.
"Regarding water,
we can always import the mineral from Europe
blessed if need be, by papal hands for free,
to have our showers with.
Energy is not a problem,
as, with more babies
one can always have plenty of human power
to move the cogs of our Economy.
Back to the Middle Ages shall we return
happily singing with Bob Brown
and the Dalai Lama
and all the Greens too,
under the May-Pole Tree.
Who knows if perchance
the fate of Tibet
shall be Australia's own too.
Halas!
All good and pleasant things must always end.
Let us return to the subject of this song
that was the icon
that mightily moves both West and East,
more even so than both
the Internet and the PC,
Bill Gate the wise
also concurring with this.
The icon is nonetheless than
the humble Bleu Jean
which dear old Levi,
of Israel a worthy
and good patriarcal son,
as soon as resettled in his New Jerusalem
which the Italians called Broccolin,
devised originally for rough-riding,
pale-faced cowboys to wear
under their leather outfits,
which of cutting and sharp thorns took care,
so as to better contain and restrain
their bursting oversized balls,
bursting for the want of use
as the Far West was once a women-less waste,
however, the Bleu Jeans
soon changed and corrected all this,
while at the same time also
strong enough
to fulfill the function that
the Templars’ ball-suspenders of old,
were wanted to do,
carrying out the protecting function
that restrained opponents
to grab one's balls in any close conflict
to unlawfully gain a contest by deceit.
Levi used to make these for a dollar a piece,
the poor soul, not ever guessing how popular
and ubiquitous these would have been.
He cunningly reinforced these
with little copper studs
that made the vain cowboy look
as if more bemedalled
than even a russian returned soldier indeed
who needs two comrades
to help him march in a parade
for the weight of the vast
of his medals the array.
Eventually, to cut the tale short,
the Jeans caught
of the feminists the attention,
who quicly, on the spur, decided
in their usual aggressive ways
to adopt the Jeans as an expression
of their equality and supremacy
over even the patriarcal race.
However God who is on the patriarcal side,
this being the weaker side
and of the NT the God must
to his Son be true,
Who the weak and meek loves most,
saw all and said-: " Ha, ha! Thou shalt not prevail.
Tightly and more revealingly
then even the skirts
can suggestively only do,
thou shall wear them oh of Eve the daughter.
Tight, very tight and close,
so as to reveal, but just so,
the little jewels thou have been
graciously and undeservedly provided with
by the cunning and all-knowing
Arts of God Who created Thee.
Is there a need to further proceed
in the spinning of this tale
that can verified be
any time and everywhere
a Bleu Jean is
that any cunning female of the human species
wears with so much deceit?
Even I a Templar
halas!, now sexually at rest,
blessing everyday
the peace that this means
---many poor sods are known
to blow their brains out
in spite of their wife, mistresses,
salami, home-made sauces, offspring
double-storey, triple-fronted,
balconied mansions
for the want of stimulation---
yes, I was saying, even I,
I must forsooth confess,
still am, just for an instant though,
all bamboozled by the sight
of a tightly-worn,
strategically revealing, while hiding,
the hints of what is
that miracle that God invented
which Rabelais, the french priest called
"the solution of all continuities ",
and that the Orientals call "the Jade Gates ".
Rabelais indeed,
who lived when,
in the Renaissance of human spirit,
man began anew
to dare and play the clown
after the neo-spartan rigours
of Middle-Aged restraints
that to no avail
improvements to morality could bring,
for want of charismatic laughter,
that even God enjoys on High,
that is why He/She/IT
created me a holy clown to wit.
Rabelais as I was saying,
in one of his light and clownish moments,
while resting from the rigours
of trying to bring down from Heavens,
the sacramentally enclosed God
Who is said in the Holy Host
to renovate the miracle of Salvation
through an eternal renewal of Sacrifice,
that the Bleu Jeans
wrongly understood and interpreted
can forsooth cause the unaware to need,
but everyone needs it anyway
as no one is innocent at all,
as the Scriptures and even Paul of Tarsus agree with,
if Cardinal Pell’s subtile thought
is not fully understood.

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